Thursday, March 8, 2012
In a matter of 16 days
In 16 short days, I will be Mrs.Stanley! This fact is still hard for me to wrap my mind around! Two short years ago my entire world crumbled. I lost the woman who had been my rock my whole life. In that time I honestly believed that I would never be happy again. And to be honest, sometimes I still struggle with the fact that this tragedy has changed who I used to be. For the longest time, I felt guilty for smiling. To me, because my mom was gone and couldn't be here to see my little sister grow, or be at my little brothers graduation, that I didn't have the right to be happy.. To smile. Then I fell for this guy... I tried not to, the timing just wasn't right, and I was still hurting so bad. But he listened.. He listened to me cry.. And then apologize for crying, and even put up with my crazy mood swings from minute to minute. I began to let down my walls and show him a glimpse of who I was. To my surprise he didn't run away!! Actually he didn't even walk away, but he stood by my side and encouraged me when I needed it most. I'm so proud to say that that guy is Morgan Stanley!!! And that in a matter of 16 days he will make me his bride. God knew what he was doing when he made our paths cross, and for that I couldn't be any more grateful. I can not wait to marry my best friend and to start my life with this amazing man!! I love you Morgan Stanley!! More than you will ever know!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Love so Amazing
So at this point in my life, things seem to be just a little crazy!
1. First and foremost, I just lost my mom. As hard as it is for me to accept, I do know that she is in a better place. But I do miss her OH SO MUCH!!! And life just seems so much harder without her here to call up and cry to when I'm upset. Its hard knowing that when I go home, she isn't going to be at her house, ready for me to get there. And I think that its harder knowing that my younger siblings are hurting as bad as I am. But we know that we are going to make it!
2. I'm completely careless about school. I just really don't care about things in class, and don't even stress when I don't do something right. This is not like me! I'm a perfectionist!! I hate to mess up. I just feel like its easier for me not to stress about school so that i'm not adding on to the stress of everything else. However, I have been praying about this, and in all honesty, thats all that I can do.
I miss home. I'm so ready to go, but dreading it at the same time. I always go home to see mom. Reality at this point, is that she won't be there. And honestly, that scares me... I feel like I need her.
I am very thankful for all of my amazing friends and family who have been supporting me. I am greatful to have friends who are willing to pray for me, And who are there to pick me up when they see me falling down. I coudn't ask for any better. God has truly blessed me with these people in my life!!
And I am so very thankful to be a Child of GOD! I do not deserve His love...NOT AT ALL! Especially now. I'm mad, and mean, and bitter... yet He still loves me! This blows my mind! I am so blessed to have a Heavenly Father who carries me when I know that I couldn't possibly carry myself. And I know that He is the only reason I am making it through this rough time in my life as well as I am. Its by no means my strength... its HIS strength in ME!!
1. First and foremost, I just lost my mom. As hard as it is for me to accept, I do know that she is in a better place. But I do miss her OH SO MUCH!!! And life just seems so much harder without her here to call up and cry to when I'm upset. Its hard knowing that when I go home, she isn't going to be at her house, ready for me to get there. And I think that its harder knowing that my younger siblings are hurting as bad as I am. But we know that we are going to make it!
2. I'm completely careless about school. I just really don't care about things in class, and don't even stress when I don't do something right. This is not like me! I'm a perfectionist!! I hate to mess up. I just feel like its easier for me not to stress about school so that i'm not adding on to the stress of everything else. However, I have been praying about this, and in all honesty, thats all that I can do.
I miss home. I'm so ready to go, but dreading it at the same time. I always go home to see mom. Reality at this point, is that she won't be there. And honestly, that scares me... I feel like I need her.
I am very thankful for all of my amazing friends and family who have been supporting me. I am greatful to have friends who are willing to pray for me, And who are there to pick me up when they see me falling down. I coudn't ask for any better. God has truly blessed me with these people in my life!!
And I am so very thankful to be a Child of GOD! I do not deserve His love...NOT AT ALL! Especially now. I'm mad, and mean, and bitter... yet He still loves me! This blows my mind! I am so blessed to have a Heavenly Father who carries me when I know that I couldn't possibly carry myself. And I know that He is the only reason I am making it through this rough time in my life as well as I am. Its by no means my strength... its HIS strength in ME!!
Monday, October 12, 2009
BLA :)
Its midterm time. And deff not my favorite. I had a math exam today, and didn't do quit as well as I thought I would. I studied and honestly thought that I was going to get atleast a b. NOT!! UGH... oh well, its over for now I guess.
So tomorrow I have a world lit exam and a Biology exam. I dont think that world lit will be that bad. Its really not a difficult class. However, Biology on the other hand, Well I just stink at math and science.. sad day right.
On the bright side, we have fall break this week. After wednesday, i'm out of this place for a while :) I will be teaching at an elementary school Thursday and Friday though. I have to turn in field experience hours soon.
Hopefully when I'm home, I will be able to hang out with some friends from home!! :) That would be great!!
Guess I better get off of here and do some much needed studying!
So tomorrow I have a world lit exam and a Biology exam. I dont think that world lit will be that bad. Its really not a difficult class. However, Biology on the other hand, Well I just stink at math and science.. sad day right.
On the bright side, we have fall break this week. After wednesday, i'm out of this place for a while :) I will be teaching at an elementary school Thursday and Friday though. I have to turn in field experience hours soon.
Hopefully when I'm home, I will be able to hang out with some friends from home!! :) That would be great!!
Guess I better get off of here and do some much needed studying!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Here We Go
In the fall semester of my Sophomore year I have realized...
1. That sometimes taking a moment to stop and cry can honestly help you get through the day. It may be when you're alone in your car, or when you lock yourself in your bedroom, but it helps.
2. I know that its cliche, but we can't do anything without God. I spent 2 months in Thailand and realized that without him I was clueless. However, coming back home I subcontiously decided that I could handle thngs myself. NOT!!! Just have to hand it over and trust that he will carry me through.
3. Getting stressed about little things doesn't do anything good for you! Suck it up and move on.
4. Looking for the right guy is pointless. Me and all of my searching isn't going to do any good until God has his hand in it. He will bless me with the right guy, I just have to be patient.
5. Life is hard. It is hard for everyone. So dwelling on this fact only roots us in a hole and makes things even harder to get out of. Accept the fact that you can't do it yourself, and again hand it over to the Lord!
6. and lastly, sometimes the people that you trust are the first to break your heart. It may not be intentional, and they may even be clueless to the fact that they hurt you. Just remember that wherever you are, and whatever situation you are in, God is there to guide and comfort you. Don't rely on the ones you love to carry you, because at some point in time we all fail. Trust in the Lord with all things, then you will find true happiness and true peace.. :)
Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27
1. That sometimes taking a moment to stop and cry can honestly help you get through the day. It may be when you're alone in your car, or when you lock yourself in your bedroom, but it helps.
2. I know that its cliche, but we can't do anything without God. I spent 2 months in Thailand and realized that without him I was clueless. However, coming back home I subcontiously decided that I could handle thngs myself. NOT!!! Just have to hand it over and trust that he will carry me through.
3. Getting stressed about little things doesn't do anything good for you! Suck it up and move on.
4. Looking for the right guy is pointless. Me and all of my searching isn't going to do any good until God has his hand in it. He will bless me with the right guy, I just have to be patient.
5. Life is hard. It is hard for everyone. So dwelling on this fact only roots us in a hole and makes things even harder to get out of. Accept the fact that you can't do it yourself, and again hand it over to the Lord!
6. and lastly, sometimes the people that you trust are the first to break your heart. It may not be intentional, and they may even be clueless to the fact that they hurt you. Just remember that wherever you are, and whatever situation you are in, God is there to guide and comfort you. Don't rely on the ones you love to carry you, because at some point in time we all fail. Trust in the Lord with all things, then you will find true happiness and true peace.. :)
Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27
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