Love so Amazing

So at this point in my life, things seem to be just a little crazy!

1. First and foremost, I just lost my mom. As hard as it is for me to accept, I do know that she is in a better place. But I do miss her OH SO MUCH!!! And life just seems so much harder without her here to call up and cry to when I'm upset. Its hard knowing that when I go home, she isn't going to be at her house, ready for me to get there. And I think that its harder knowing that my younger siblings are hurting as bad as I am. But we know that we are going to make it!

2. I'm completely careless about school. I just really don't care about things in class, and don't even stress when I don't do something right. This is not like me! I'm a perfectionist!! I hate to mess up. I just feel like its easier for me not to stress about school so that i'm not adding on to the stress of everything else. However, I have been praying about this, and in all honesty, thats all that I can do.

I miss home. I'm so ready to go, but dreading it at the same time. I always go home to see mom. Reality at this point, is that she won't be there. And honestly, that scares me... I feel like I need her.

I am very thankful for all of my amazing friends and family who have been supporting me. I am greatful to have friends who are willing to pray for me, And who are there to pick me up when they see me falling down. I coudn't ask for any better. God has truly blessed me with these people in my life!!

And I am so very thankful to be a Child of GOD! I do not deserve His love...NOT AT ALL! Especially now. I'm mad, and mean, and bitter... yet He still loves me! This blows my mind! I am so blessed to have a Heavenly Father who carries me when I know that I couldn't possibly carry myself. And I know that He is the only reason I am making it through this rough time in my life as well as I am. Its by no means my strength... its HIS strength in ME!!